Category Archives: balls

bull shit

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On one of our many piss pit stops

We parked next to this mother trucker

It was a long, LONG arse road train

And as I was walking along side of it

I noticed all these set of legs

Then I noticed this guy

Totally trying to stare me down

And once I felt sure he wasn’t going to kill me couldn’t get through the steel railing

I ventured closer

And he didn’t take his eyes off me for one second

And me?
I couldn’t take my eyes of these for one second

That there is some MAJOR excess baggage

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After a few minutes I decided I’d taken enough photos of his knackers violated his personal space enough

So started to make a move to the dunny before I wet myself headed on my merry way

But I felt something staring at me

And it wasn’t the porn star bull this time

It was this little dude

Check out those eyes

His brother came over to check me out too

Could they BE any more adorable?

*sigh*

Soooo cute

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But not quite cute enough to make me a vegetarian

who would?

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I’ve never understood the whole fashion game

Ummm, I shop at Walmart

And wear my favourite clothes until they fall to pieces

So that kinda tells you how trendy I’m not I am

The main thing I’ve never understood is the whole fashion show scene

You know, where completely anorexic 13 year old girls parade their wares?

And they just make me feel bad for them

Like I should share my lunch with them

Buy your own bitches

Why do they put them in the weirdest bloody outfits?

That cost a fortune

Who fucking buys it?

Except maybe Lady Gaga

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But finally, some good news

Fashion that “I GET”

That makes sense

That I would totally buy

For my husband

DICK PANTS!

Fuckin’ A I say

Now us girls no longer have to sneak peaks at the boys’ lunchboxes

Make ‘em wear ‘em on the OUTSIDE

‘Cause I’m all about judging a man by the size of his baby maker book by it’s cover

kilts

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I first went to Scotland nearly 20 years ago

And have been back more times than I can remember since then

I love it there

The people, the food

And even the cold weather

We’ve always had a good time

And rip-roaring-ball-tearing shows

So why is it then

In all that time, have I never seen this?

Or this?

I’m alright not having seen this though

Even the Queen got a perve

Am I going to the wrong spots

Where do these boys hang out?

With their cute little skirts

That they’re ‘free-balling’ underneath

THIS is a dude that needs to be covering his shit up with a kilt

And remember this freaky fucker dude?

I’m going to buy him a kilt the next time I’m in Scotland

Do they come in extra long?

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thanks Ang!