I have 3 close girlfriends who are all pregnant right now

jealous

So I’ve been doing one of my most fave things ever

Baby shopping

There’s so many cute gadgets, gizmos and funky stuff out there for babies these days

And I know, you don’t need all of that

Babies don’t need half the shit that we accumulate for them

Just the basics

pram, schmam

Well, maybe not that basic

If you haven’t seen this clip yet

Check it out

And you’ll truly know why the term ‘WTF’ was invented

I think my judgmental bone is attached to my vomit bone

‘Cause I feel seriously grossed out after seeing this

In fairness, he’s not hurting anyone

And he’s the first to recognise that what he’s doing isn’t the ‘norm’

But, wow dude

Just, wow.

When I look at the girls busy making their Easter crafts

Gifts for family

It’s scary how big they look these days

Macaroni is already up to my shoulder

She’s 7

And I’m a short-arse

Even Magoo, who’s 5

Loves to brag how she can head-butt Mummy’s boobies

Which is both weird and painful

They’re both growing like weeds lately

Then I look around the house

With all our Easter decorations everywhere

And it’s hard to reconcile the two big girls, colouring Easter eggs today

With the two little girls in all the Easter Bunny photos

People say it all the time about kids

“…they grow up so fast”

What they should say is,

“…they grow up faster than fast. Like, holy-shit one day you’ll get your 7 year old’s shoes, socks and tights confused with your own. And while you want them to make their beds and do stuff for themselves – one day you’ll wake up and they’ll have taken a bath, made their beds, breakfast, cleared their dishes, put their dirty clothes in the laundry and made toast & vegemite for you”

And then you’re like, wow

And then you’ll be like, boo

‘Cause it’s a bit sad too

And then you realise that they did all these wonderful, big girl things to hide the fact that they’ve deposited an entire bottle of Vampire Red Nail Polish in Magoo’s bed

But you don’t get mad

You didn’t like that colour anyway

And the sheets were old

It WAS kinda smart of them really

To distract you enough

Hoping you didn’t notice

But you’ll be too busy looking at old photos anyway

And then your ovaries will start to ache

And cry

And possibly just drop out

THAT’S what they should tell you.

I know most of you have probably already seen this over the last few days

On the TV

News

Online

And now here!

It’s too cute not to watch twice!