I know the Aussies reading this wold have heard all about this story

But some of my yank & pommy other mates may not have

So, this one’s for you

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See, there’s this elephant at Taronga Zoo

You remember Taronga Zoo right?

That’s where I took the kids last year when we were in Sydney

And Miss 6 nearly lost a limb

Yeah, that zoo

So anyway, they have this pregnant elephant there

But the baby died before it was born

All the tests showed that here was no sign of a heartbeat. No movement in the womb. Blood tests and ultrasound results were bad

It was so sad

Then yesterday morning, when zoo keepers went in to check on the mother

They saw that she had given birth

And the dead elephant calf was in the corner of the pen

When they went over to check it out

The baby elephant lifted it’s head up

And apparently that’s something that dead elephants don’t do

no shit sherlock

How cool is that?

The baby they thought was dead had managed to fool them all

It’s had twisted in it’s mother’s womb and gone into a coma

But at 100kg (over 220 pounds) this little guy has turned out to be a complete miracle

That’s a big arse baby

I won’t be complaining about popping out a couple of 9 pounders anymore

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They haven’t named him yet

So for now, his nickname is Mr Shuffles

‘Cause he shuffles around like a little old man

I’m already looking forward to taking Miss 6 & Miss 4 back to Taronga next year

And they can see this little dude for themselves

Don’t you just love a happy ending?

Yep, that’s me

I am a lot of things

short, freckly, totally hot

But right now, princess procrastinator would be the hat that’s glued to my head I’m wearing

Getting ready to go back to work next week after a big break

I’ve been home since the end of November

So Diamond is ready for me to get the fuck outta here it’s time to get my shit together

About a month before I start touring I compile the big list

I’m a list nut

They’re in my bag

My pockets

On my phone

I made a big list a few weeks ago

Of all the things I needed to get done before I leave

Everything from buying new guitar strings

To sewing the patches on Miss 6 girl scouts uniform

Taking the girls to the dentist blah, blah, blah

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As you can imagine

I have been flat out

Ignoring the fuck out of said list

And with less than 72 hours until I leave

I’m looking at the bottle of red on the kitchen counter

Thinking that a glass or two is about the only thing that’s going to help me get all this done

So what if it’s 8am

I’m sure I can get most of it sorted out in time

But the truth?

I’d rather be doing this

Watching these two

Laughing at their lack of skills with them

Just hanging out with my babies

Trying not to freak out at how they’re growing every minute

That I’m going to miss out on something they do or say

I’m so lucky I love my job

But I really do need to get them playing the guitar more

Then they can be my support act

And come with me!

Problem solved bitches

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Can the support act even have a support act?