Dear Jenny

I have been a fan of yours since you used to sing country music years ago.I have to say that I think I prefer your older, ‘nicer’ music. Is this Jenny Talia thing going to be permanent or do you think one day you might go back to singing the beautiful music you used to? Could you also please send me some cigarettes?

To My Darling Nanna

I thought the nursing home banned you from the internet?

Dear Jenny

I don’t want to embarrass you but I just worked out that if you say your name fast, Jenny Talia, it kind of sounds like Genitalia.  JENNY TALIA = GENITALIA! Oh my God Jenny, I feel really bad for you.

Wow – thanks for pointing that out you fucking genius

I was going to change it to Connie Lingus anyway so suck it

Dear Jenny

I’ve been having the strangest dreams that started about a week ago. I’m always in a plane and I get up to go to the toilet and I started killing people and laughing while I did it.  Then my grandma showed up in a flight attendant’s uniform offering me goat flavoured fairy floss with my apple juice. Then I jumped out of the plane but my parachute wouldn’t open. What do you think Jenny?

Ummm… well I think you might need to lay off the Jesus Juice for a while mate. If that doesn’t work – here’s my shrink’s number give this number a call – 1800-WACK-JOB

Good luck! you fruit loop

Dear Jenny

OMG Jen!! I have met the most amazing man. We’ve been together 6 months now and it just keeps getting better. He spoils me rotten and is always buying me beautiful jewelery and taking me to fancy restaurants. He tells me all the time how gorgeous, I am (LOL!) and even buys me fantastic outfits that fit just right. We love all the same things and he will even sit with me while I watch Sex In The City reruns for hours. I mean, like OMG right? My only complaint would be our sex life. It’s less than spectacular to say the least. I feel like it’s worth the trade off though. Average sex even when we do it, which is like, NEVER. He says he’s just not really a sexual guy. I think I can handle that though. Am I doing the right thing?

OMG, like, if you don’t mind that he’s gay, why should I?