WHO DARES GRINS….FOR CHRISTMAS!

Now if you, like me….LOVE THE SHIT OUT OF CHRISTMAS!

Or if you are a miserable Grinchy bastard someone that’s not a fan

I’m about to help you out

Fuck off Jen, I hear you say

It’s OCTOBER for shit’s sake

I KNOW you guys, and normally I’d be with you

But in oder for ME to help YOU, we need to GET. ON. THIS!

And by GET ON THIS, I mean sometimes the post office sucks hairy ones and can take more than a month to get stuff from me to you when it really shouldn’t take that long in 2013. Also where the fuck are the flying cars they promised us?
Apparently once they start uttering the “C” word….”Christmas”….everything sent from that moment on is strapped on the back of a blind, amputee camel, that stops for beer all the way from my place to yours.
So it actually NOT really the post office’s fault
It the crippled alcoholic camels they hire as casuals during silly season
And while I would almost feel bad about putting a camel out of a job, if we’re organised, we won’t even need them!

Soooooo.…for those of you looking for a little JENNY TALIA under your tree or in your stocking this year, (not to be confused with Jenny Talia IN stockings….’cause those things give me an itchin’ in my kitchen that only Monistat can fix) I have some to share

‘Cause while I try so sign my CDS etc whenever I can, online orders are sometimes sent from Australia, the UK or the USA. And depending on where *I* am at the time, I’ll sign ’em if I see ’em

But for THIS Christmas, anyone that orders a copy of my WHO DARES GRINS DVD (filmed live in South Africa) will not only get their DVD personally signed by MOI

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…You’ll also receive a signed WHO DARES GRINS POSTER A-N-D a F.O.C.U.S. sticker for FREE!! FAAAHREE!! Yeah baby!

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All orders for the WHO DARES GRINS DVD received BEFORE 1st DECEMBER will be eligible for this deal

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In preparation, all handjobs in my house are on hold
Sorry Diamond
Wouldn’t want to wear out my writing wrist.

CLICK HERE TO ORDER YOUR COPY OF WHO DARES GRINS ON DVD

CLICK HERE TO ORDER YOUR COPY OF WHO DARES GRINS ON DVD

CLICK HERE TO ORDER YOUR COPY OF WHO DARES GRINS ON DVD

CLICK HERE TO ORDER YOUR COPY OF WHO DARES GRINS ON DVD

 

macaroni’s milestone

She’s already smarter than me

She loves playing the cello and having sleepovers

Her favourite time of the year is right now, because d’uh…Halloween!

Her crazy long legs have brought her up to just about eye level with me

She’s the cool kid her little sister wants to be

She loves surprises, scary movies, Lancelin and Rainbow Loom bracelets

All she wanted for her birthday was a skateboard and a little brother

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One out of 2 ain’t bad

She’s thoughtful, funny and the most prolific reader I’ve ever known, and and always has at least 3 books on the go. Her favourite this week is Little Women, which she wants me to read too….but hello? Have you seen the SIZE of that book?

What I DO love to read, is anything Macaroni writes….she can write the shit out of a good story

She loves Thin Lizzie, Billy Joel, The Rolling Stones and old Elton John

She’s a thinker, she’s a giggler, she’s a great friend

Whatever ‘it’ is, this kid oozes it.

And as far as daughters go…
We’re pretty lucky to call her ours

Happy Double digits Macaroni

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You’ve given us an incredible 10 years so far, and being your Mum is truly, the best thing that ever happened to me

And for that, I might even “UNbreak” iTunes for ya today 😉

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