storm in a (double) D cup

Driving to the show the other night, we go to watch a storm roll in
It was an outdoor gig, so I was wondering how it would turn out

Turns out I needn’t have worried

Up here in the Territory, they don’t give a shit about the rain. They love it

Even with the option of sitting undercover to watch the show, people chose to sit out in the rain.
So we ALL just stood out in it and got saturated

I was all excited with my bad-self about taking out the title in the wet-shirt competition. Uh yeah, there wasn’t ACTUALLY a competition going on.

I was just kind of comparing my rack myself to the other girls there and having an imaginary comp in my head. Which is really the best kind to have. You don’t have to stand on stage and get hosed down and judged like you do when you’re 19 and in Bali and you have the biggest boobs out of all your girlfriends and they sign you up so they can all get free drinks for the week if you win Plus, in my mind, I’m always the winner

But then I met the waitresses at the show. Who were only there moonlighting as waitresses. Because in their DAY JOBS, they’re strippers

So no medal for me this time. I had to settle for 4th place

My imagination’s not THAT good.

 

 

 

I saw the sign

On day one, of our first show of this Northern Territory tour

This, was the cover of the State’s (biggest) paper

Holy shit did we laugh our arses off

And started telling people the name of our band was ‘Public Sex Craze”

Then today, THIS was the front page of the paper

It’s fucking hilarious

Nowhere else in the world, does a paper have such consistently funny, and UN-newsy headlines

I’m not sure if it’s deliberate – but it DID make us go out and buy the paper each day

So it’s totally effective for immature bogans like us that love fart jokes

The other awesome thing you see in the Territory, that you don’t see anywhere else in Australia, is this…

A speed limit of 130km per hour (approx. 80 miles)

Which is so great

Unless you have a rental car that can’t handle the pace and starts violently shaking to the point that you wish you were wearing a sports bra abandon it and organise a new hire car that’s red so you totally think it’ll be faster than the other one but the fucker ends up having the shakes too for fuck’s sake 

We’re blaming Heiny

And the extra suitcase full of her special dildos accessories she brought along with her

Dirty biatch.