hit pic, april 28

This is my Nanna and Pop

Who earlier this month, celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary

Now, as someone who’s only just coming up on 9 years

I’m not sure I’m going to reach 70 years old

Let alone 70 years married

How cute is Nanna rocking her pretty nails, jewelry and trendy top?

Pop’s pretty fly for a white (94 yr old) guy too

I wish I could have been there

I miss them

x

 

*thanks to my cousin Nat & Facebook for the stolen pic!

keeping it klassy for the king

For those of you living under a really large rock

It’s just about here!

What, you say? You spaz

THE ROYAL WEDDING, PEOPLE

THE ROYAL WEDDING

IT’S ON FRIDAY FOR FUCK’S SAKE

CAN I TURN OFF MY CAPS LOCK NOW?

Thankyouverymuch

So yeah, Will & Kat are getting hitched on Friday

And I, like a bazillion other peeps

Will probably check it out on TV

I mean, it’s not like I’m going to hold it against Willy

That some fucker at immigration was a complete wankstain

And wouldn’t even let me in the country

But I am starting to think it might have been a conspiracy

I think maybe, just maybe

They wanted to keep me away

Purely as a precaution

Not that I’m a legitimate threat

To Kate, that is

Willy’s not really my type

Premature balding and a fugly for a step-mum

Don’t make the package all that appealing

But I guarantee his bachelor party would have been a shitload more fun with me there

A little Thunder From Down Under

Jenny Talia style

All class with some Aussie arse

With a finale that included paintbrushes, vegemite, boomerangs

A stripper pole and some INXS cranked uppity UP

How’s THAT for a visual?

So yeah, whatevs

Me & my online bought souvineers, will be fine

I might even have a party of my own

Might EVEN dust off the special Union Jack nipple pasties

That I had made in size thermos lid to wear for Will and his hot ginger brother

Fanta pants

Might EVEN send the Prince a few pics

He’s on Facebook, right?

 

*for those who have been asking – I got my passport back YESTERDAY. Nearly 3 weeks after the date I was told I’d have it. Can-you-fucking-belive-that-shit?