fair & just

As I type this

Miss 6 & Miss 4 are upstairs in ‘timeouts’

Miss 6 in her room

And Miss 4 in my office

Normally a timeout would mean them saying, Yes Mummy, putting on their best remorseful faces

And heading upstairs to play or read a book

Not today

Today they are both sitting on the carpet, in the middle of each room

Doing nothing

I’m not sure how long I’m going to let them stew

Is a month too long?

What sort of discipline do you guys use?

‘Cause while the girls are full of awesomeness

They’re kids

And kids can be arseholes

Doesn’t mean we don’t love ’em

But we all have our days

‘cept me of course, but you knew that already

The trouble started early this week

Miss 6 is on Spring Break from school

So we had the week planned out with fun stuff to do

And lots of playdates

Playdate # 1 – Miss 4 ate all the other kid’s lunches

And Miss 6 made the little sister cry

Not her own little sister that shit happens daily around here

The 4 year old sister of her school friend

So they both got warnings and a stern talking to blah, blah, blah


Playdate # 2 – Miss 6 put a bean bag on the little sister (again not her own) and made her cry

And Miss 4 stole their telephone

You read that right

She. Stole. Their. Telephone

It was shoved up the sleeve of her jacket when I was trying to buckle her in her seat as we were leaving

And I said, are you kidding me – you’re STEALING their telephone?

And she just looked at me and said,  yes I am

So they got bigger warnings & a grade A stern talking to

That’s the one where my face changes colour


Now I know some of you are probably thinking, no one deserves this more than me well they’re just kids and that’s what kids do

And I get that

But it’s my goal in life to one day stop wearing maternity clothes not have THOSE kids

You know the ones I mean, I’m sure

THOSE kids that you can’t take anywhere

THOSE kids that are brats?

THOSE kids that when you see them out, you want to slap ’em upside the head and shoot their parents are sooo glad they’re not yours

(Doesn’t this picture make you want to sew your vajay-jay up?)


And while I don’t think my kids are even close to being THOSE kids

I’m convinced that even the worst of THOSE kids, must have started out as good kids at some point, right?

So I’m strict

And decided that before playdate #3 today

The girls would clean their toy room

Which looked like an abandoned preschoolers crack house

But they couldn’t do without fighting

So playdate #3 has been cancelled

Yep ,I actually followed through on a threat

I called up playdate #3 and cancelled

And I’m pissed about it

‘Cause today’s playdate was going to be a good one

The Mum is a good friend and she drinks duh, why do you think we’re good friends?

So now I will be drinking at noon, alone having a playdate with myself

*Feel free to insert your own dirty thought here*



update – just checked on the girls upstairs and they’re asleep thank you, heroin laced cheerios!


  1. Your lucky you dont get caught doing this. My son’s girlfriend is doing a deploma on child care. No more naughty corner. That would single out the child and they may be upset about this. No more yelling at them. That also singles them out. She can not even say good boy or good girl. That is sexist. (what ever that is) I supposed a good kick up the bum and a open hand smack on the back of the leg is out as well? No wonder the kids do what they do.

  2. If it makes you feel any better, I think kids that steal at the age of four are just getting it out of their system early. My sister stole from Kids’R’Us around that age and she was a totally tame teenager… I, on the other hand, was a GREAT kid. And a complete terror as a teen (and well beyond… really too far beyond for anyone’s good).

  3. Ok i have learnt an easy trick

    Step 1.
    a child who is crying, take a half full bucket of water and dunk the child in head first for 20 secs and pull the child out, if the child is still crying repeat for 30 secs, adding 10 secs each time, eventually the child will stop crying (And possibly breathing)

    Step 2.
    The child has done nothing wrong if there is no evidence therefore the child that your child may cause to cry use Step 1.

    That is all 😛

  4. Bwahahaha … glad this stuff doesn’t only happen to ME.
    Mind you, my 5 year old brought the message home recently with his Easter card he made at school: “I love my Mum because she cares about me and loves me even when I am being bad”. Yep, you are lucky little mate, that’s all I can say…..

  5. After watching SUPER NANNY Jo a few times, I’m convinced it’s the parents who need a good smack, shake, push down the “naughty steps” or simply, death by lethal injection. At least you know how to take charge. Firm but fair is the ONLY way to go…followed by a nice drop of red.

  6. I find the threat of grounding usually works if the threat doesn’t work follow through on it they soon get the message my 7 year old hates not being able to go to friends when punished (he has adhd and he is still fairly well behaved) But just wait till their teenagers actually made 15 year old cry when i grounded him 🙂 it worked a treat he did my housework for a week trying to make it up to me

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