Wow
Just fucking wow
Wow
Just fucking wow
Been missing me?
Yeah, I didn’t think so
I realised that I’ve been spending all this time on TWITTER
And farting around on FACEBOOK
That I haven’t been being a very good blogger
Sorry ’bout that peeps!
Good news though
You can leave your comment here on the blog page now, WITHOUT having to log in
Total spontaneous commenting
Bring it!
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The tour’s still going great
Three shows to go
Tonight we’re in Gladstone
It’s always a good time here
It’s a great town on the coast here in Queensland
One of things I’m looking forward to tonight, is meeting a fellow blogger
She lives with her family in Queensland, and is making the trip tonight to se the show
Her blog name is BUSH BABE
And her site is always a great read
I love going there to get a good dose of Australiana
Well written, with fantastic photography
A lot like my bog really
Except Bush Babe’s doesn’t have dick pictures photos are well taken
There’s no sarcastic bitchiness
Or excessive use of the word fucktard
Other than that – our blogs are EXACTLY the same
Bush Babe is a top lady too, so I’m looking forward to meeting her face to face
That’s if she’s still talking to me after seeing me perform LIVE
Finger’s crossed!
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Also had time this trip to catch up with another great mate of ours
Cactus
Cactus (who, when she 1st met Dad, was given a choice between the nick names KILLER or CACTUS PUBES, ’cause Dad is a nut job does that to everyone) started working with Dad over 20 years ago
When I was a kid back then touring with Dad, she was my surrogate big sister
I may, or may not have had my first cigarette & alcoholic drink (ever) with her as a kid
So it’s fair to say that she’s probably at least partly to blame for me turning into a shithead part of the reason I turned out so awesome like this
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She’s gone on to have great success in the industry, and without going thru her whole resume, I’ll just tell you that her current project is, wait for it…
THE WIGGLES
This has led to Miss 4 to now refer to her as MY FAVOURITE AUNTY CACTUS IN THE WORLD!
So, we’ve had 2 days off on this tour
And we spent both of them with Cactus
It’s rare that we get to see mates anywhere other than at the shows when we’re touring
So to catch up TWICE, on DAYS OFF?
Man, the odds of that are….well…
Let’s just say that there’s a better chance of me fitting into a pair of my pre-baby jeans than that happening again
Which is a good thing
‘Cause as you can see by the pics
There was merriment aplenty
I mean, check mum out
2 different nights
Same hysterical face
Although none of us can seem to remember what the fuck was so funny
Cactus even offered to make the trip to Rockhampton on Saturday for the last show

To celebrate my birthday with me
And while I love her more than my laptop
My liver politely told her, to go fuck herself
I mentioned a while back on twitter that Diamond had come to the conclusion that our kitchen was too small
So he went and knocked the fucking wall out
Problem solved?
Yeah, that’d be a NO
I mean, technically it DID make the kitchen bigger
But now it had that exposed beam, insulation, dusting inhaling, half demolished look
Which I’ve never been much a fan of
So I was all, soooo, when do you think you might want to PUT THE FUCKING KITCHEN BACK TOGETHER?
OK, so I might have actually said it like that on the inside
On the outside, it sounded more like, wow babe, you’ve started already. Can’t wait to see how it turns out
And Diamond’s all, well you’re leaving soon, so it’s going to have to stay like that for a while. I can’t do it when you’re gone – I need someone to help me
And oh, how I love to help by yelling out instructions from the comfort of the couch
In all fairness though, my tradesman’s crack IS pretty impressive
It’s eerily similar to this one if you added 10 years and 30 pounds to it
I’m pretty sure that’s why he likes having me around
Anyhoo
I think he must have just remembered that it’s my birthday this weekend
And although I won’t be home until after, he’s worked out what would REALLY make a great gift
He’s always maintained that I’m really easy to buy for
Of course I am
How easy is it to shop for crotchless undies, fury steering wheel covers & gold leaf earings?
Who says I need to LIKE what I get?
Anyhooo anyhooo
He sent me thru some pics
And I seriously did big snorts and had sprite come out my nose when I saw them
(FYI sprite out the nose BURNS like a mofo)
He’s got the KIDS helping him
Measuring, up on the ladders
Miss 6 looks like she’s right at home
Enjoying herself even
Miss 4 again proves that she’s mine, all mine
With a face like a busted arsehole sour puss
Looking very unamused at being forced into child labour
I almost for bad for them
But if it means getting my kitchen put back together?
Then they need to suck it the fuck up