Dear Jenny

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year mate. I wanted to ask your opinion on something. My wife never puts out anymore. Just special occasions like my birthday and our anniversary. This year I got lucky for Christmas and New Year too. But now I know that’s probably IT now until my birthday again in October. This seems really unfair. When I try to discuss it with my wife, she tells me to ‘like it or lump it’. It makes me feel rejected and I feel like I have the right to go looking elsewhere, if you know what I mean. A man has needs you know Jenny. What do you think?

Hey dude, I feel bad for you and all – but I really don’t give a fuck unless you have a desire to have your penis chopped off with a rusty pair of bolt cutters, I’d take your ‘needs’ into your own hands, if you know what I mean

And if you don’t, Diamond’s thinking of releasing a manual on the subject: “Wanking For Dummies”

Him being both a wanker and a dummy an expert and all

I’ll send you a copy when it comes out

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