A box arrived this week
Since I did 99% of my Christmas shopping on the net
We have had boxes coming out the wazoo since the beginning of November
But this one was different
It was covered in stamps from all over the world
And had another box inside it
I was thinking that I’d never had any of my sex toys things arrive looking so nice before
So we opened it
And there was ANOTHER box
Saving the trees my arse
But it sure looked purdy!
So we open up THAT box
And there was a book
WTF is ELF ON THE SHELF I hear you ask
I was thinking the same thing myself
Until Miss 6 read the book to me
In summary:
ELF ON THE SHELF is an elf doll that comes to your house at Christmastime, every year. You place him on the shelf, and he watches the kids, taking note of how they behave. Every night, he flies back to the North Pole and reports to Santa. In the morning, you will find him somewhere else in your house unless mummy gets drunk and forgets to move him The kids wake up and have to look for him. They can’t touch him, or his magic will disappear. They can talk to him though – but he doesn’t talk back
Anyhoo
Sounded like a shit hot idea to me
The girls now not only had Santa watching
But one of his elves was keeping an eye on them too
.
They decided to call him Stampy
My suggestion of creepy-stalker-elf was rejected
So we placed him on the mantle the first night
And when we woke up, he was in the Christmas tree
We put him back up on the mantle – with gloves on, at Miss 6′s insistence hello anal retentive!
The next day he was in the laundry room on the ironing board
It took ages to find him ’cause I never go in there
But there was still a pile of dirty washing in there too
Where’s the magic in THAT creepy-stalker-elf Stampy?
.
But he’s kinda cool
The girls are fascinated by him
He’s freaking me out a little
Dude never blinks
Diamond thinks I’m being paranoid a fruitloop
Can’t wait to see who’s the fruitloop in the morning
When Diamond wakes up with Stampy
Peeking out the top of his pajama pants
