Written by JENNY TALIA
BOTH BARRELS MUSIC
Billy the kid
Billy the shit
Barges thru the store
Screaming out loud
“Where’s the bearded bastard?
I wanna see him now”
It’s that special holiday feel good time of the year
And Billy’s spreading the love sharing the cheer
He was searching everywhere
On the prowl on the hunt
Then he found Santa’s line
And pushed his was to the front
“Hey Santa, it’s me Billy
I’m here to tell ya what I want
So grab a sharp pencil
Me list is really long”
Billy the kid
Billy the shit
Make you give up rooting
If you got a kid like him
He’s an 8 year old arsehole
With an acid toungue
Make a mother wanna eat her young
Billy the kid
Billy the shit
Santa thought
Oh God
It’s that little prick again
He’s the worst part of the job
Billy jumped on Santa’s lap
Knocked over 3 of his elves
“Shut up and listen Santa
and keep your fucking hands to yourself”
“I want a video game
And a flat screen tv
And an ipod and a skateboard
And a tent that sleeps 3
And one of those fancy
Transformer robot things
A bat & a bike and a new kite
Are you listening to me?”
CHORUS
Santa Claus was knackered
After Billy had gone
So then he thought, “I feel payback coming on”
He said to Billy’s mum and dad who were standing there in shock
“I think it’s time we showed your mongrel kid just who’s the boss”
“Don’t get him anything for Christmas – just a pile of dog shit
Put it in his toys, in the yard
That should do the trick
Put dog shit in the shed, his sandbox and his room
I’ll bet you both that’ll make him change his bloody tune”
CHORUS
Billy woke up Christmas morning
Excited as could be
“I can’t wait to see the stuff
That Santa bought for me”
He ran all around the house
And started looking confused
Looked under the tree and in the yard
And in the shed too
But all he found was dog shit
Tears welled up in Billy’s eyes
His Dad knelt down and said
“Billy, you alright?”
Billy’s little lip was trembling
And he was trying not to cry
“Santa bought me a puppy
But I can’t FUCKING find him”
CHORUS