Packing up to leave Palmerston North after a fantastic show last night

As Dad likes to say,

I think I was almost funny

Have been catching up with people I haven’t seen in years on this trip and last night was no exception

This is Olivia

Our Dads used to play in a band back in Kalgoorlie 100 years ago 

She confessed to me last night that she was the one who made me cry myself to sleep stole my etch-a-sketch when I was 5

It was good to have that old mystery solved

bitch!

She’s one of the most bubbly friendly people I know

All us Kalgoorlie kids are fucked in the head a little like that I reckon

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Our accommodation is again very nice

We’ve had a pretty good run on this tour

One complaint though

shocker

I can’t reach the toilet paper with my midget arms

So I have to do my business

Then stand up and waddle over to get some toilet paper

Drip –  drip – drip

** Yeah I KNOW I could totally get the toilet paper off BEFORE I sit down smartarse but I don’t like having to ‘estimate’ my TP usage!

My inbox was pretty full this morning

Seems you’re all a little concerned about my flu

You’ve been reading and hearing about this swine flu

How it’s reached New Zealand

You’re wondering if maybe I’ve caught it

Thanks for your concern guys

But I am actually feeling a lot better today

After sleeping most of yesterday and today

I’m looking a lot better too 

See…

Nothing to worry about!

Days off on the road are usually for doing fun stuff 

Like last week’s SLING-SHOT RIDE

We have a day off today in Hamilton after a very make you want to vomit wind-y drive from Napier

We stopped for brekky where I thought we’d landed in China no one spoke English

But the scenery was pretty incredible

It’s crap weather raining here today so I’m hanging out in my room waiting for my guitar to get here

It travels in the truck with the crew ’cause it won’t fit in our car with all my shit our suitcases etc.

Woo hoo – forget what I just wrote

It has arrived

So this is what today’s going to look like

Here’s hoping the flu I feel like I’m fucking getting AGAIN coming on will leave me the hell alone not show up at all

Being sick blows chunks is shitty on a day off

Got to feel better by tomorrow

It’s a big day out

GLAMOROUS!!!

Regular readers of this blog are familiar with my mum

and are used to the crazy shit she says ”mummisms” as I call then

Who could forget the Northwest Tour last year?

When she asked,

“do my legs look swollen to you?

I think I may have fluid retrenchment”

And then when she accused Dad of,

“Seeing the world through rose coloured dentures”

Oh yeah – she comes up with some winners

I told her today, you may only be funny once a year

But when you’re funny you are fucking hysterical hilarious

I give you today’s conversation

mum: Did you see that story about Susan Boyle ?

me: yeah I put her video up on the webpage

mum: I’d like to do that

me: What?

mum: Get up and sing like that and really surprise everyone. Maybe on Australian Idol or something

me: ummm.. you might have missed the boat on that one. By about 30 years

mum: I would be great – I’d do pretty well I reckon

It must be noted that at this point, Dad & Holly are pissing themselves in the front seat

me: You reckon you could win it all mum?

mum: You never know

me: You’d have to suck a lot of savs to get anywhere I reckon

Now the 3 of us are pissing ourselves 

Not mum

mum: What?

What did you just say?

I’m your mother and that’s disgusting.

Sucking penis’

Silence

I’m waiting to be told off some more

mum: Hmmm…

Well I guess it would depend.

Who would the judges be?

Hey Dad – maybe you’re not the problem child after all