Every year for birthday’s and Christmas my brother (who lives in Australia) and I try to outdo each other with ‘bad taste’ greeting cards 

I’ll admit I have an unfair advantage over him by living here in the U.S. 

The selection of cards here is massive and the the range of hideous cards is pretty impressive

And specific too.

Not just ‘Happy Birthday’ or ‘Happy Birthday Brother’ 

The card I sent him last year said; “Happy Birthday Bro from across the miles from your Wacky Sister”

It had waterfalls and rabbits on it – pretty tough to beat

I have to say he had a decent crack at the title this year with my birthday card

Eagles and a lighthouse

That’s going to take some beating

His birthday’s in July

I’m off to scope out the Hallmark store tomorrow

I can smell victory already

Either that or the dog farted again

… of silence!

So I’m not sure if last week’s video of the week was the reason (CLICK HERE if you missed it)

But our house is a peaceful one tonight

The kids are locked in the basement tucked up in bed and my husband is out

But guess where he is

Im so excited to say he is here:

Yep – my boy is getting his pain in the arse snoring sleeping problems looked at.

‘Bout fucking time too  Finally!

Aparently he’ll get all hooked up to monitors and stuff & might even get to come home with one of these sexy looking contraptions:

I’m told the room where they conduct the study is very much like a hotel room – without the room service, view, bath robes or chocolates on the pillow

But otherwise exactly like a hotel!

Maybe I should give them a call to make sure they block the porn channel

Or else NO ONE in that joint will be sleeping