Dear Jenny

I have been with my boyfriend for a little over three years and we are mostly very happy

Sometimes he likes to role play when we have sex. Most of the time this doesn’t bother me but lately he seems to be getting a little weirder. He’s been dressing up as a nun and wants me to beat him while he confesses. Is this normal?

Ummmm no. Your boyfriend is a wack job. Fuck him off!

JT

x

I’d heard that having children would be the ultimate payback for whatever kind of kid you were.

I assumed that wouldn’t start happening until the teenage years.

Apparently I used to love embarrassing my mum when I was little

And the cycle continues…

While putting shoes on my 3 year old at the gym for t-ball class (in front of at least 10 people)

Mummy, are my feet stinky?

No honey they’re fine. 

Watch out down there mummy I might pop-pop on your head

Sshhhh

Oh yeah a big stinky pop-pop right in your face 

Silence

Then you could do one too

Silence 

Then I could do one, and you do one. Then me, then you, then me, then you…

O.K. that’s enough now

A competition mummy. Let’s have a POP-POP COMPETITION!!

Now everyone’s staring. And I think they’ve actually embarrassed her into silence (thank you)

Not quite

You know what. I don’t want to have a competition.

Good. Off you go to t-ball.

(while mummy explains to the other parents that you were dropped on your head as a baby)

Pop- pop competitions are no fun with you mummy. I never win.

Yours are always the stinkiest!

“We’ve only just begun…”

It took me a while 

It actually took me nearly  month – but I finally talked my husband into letting me get Fluffy neutered! 

I know – he looks so cute – but it’s gotta be done

I prefer the term gonadectomy.

Just saying it gives me pleasure. Gonad snip anyone?? Gonadectomeeeeeeeee!

Loves it!

While this may not seem to be a big deal to you – this is a big accomplishment in my book

This is from a man who vows to NEVER get the snip himself. Reason?

He’s a pussy 

He says,

“It changes a man…”

Me:

“Oh really? I’ve given birth to 2 kids, have you seen me naked? I’ll show you some fucking CHANGES!!”

I actually tried to do a deal with the vet when I dropped Fluffy off this morning;

“If I can get my husband to come with me when I come back to pick Fluffy up, would you give me a discount on the second procedure –  You know, like a two for one kinda deal?”

“Sorry, but we only deal with animals”

“Good. I’ll bring him in then”

 

I’m so glad he doesn’t read this blog!

This is Fluffy

He’s a 13 week old Great Pyranees

And the newest addition to the family

He’ll be 130 pounds or 58 kgs when he’s fully grown (by the time he’s one)

Yes we are fucking nuts