Parody by JENNY TALIA

Oh Donald – Oh Donald

Oh Donald – Oh Donald

I had a boss once

Donald was his name

But since he fired me

Life ain’t been the same

Cause I’ve lost me job

Now there’s no one out there who’ll hire me

Got fired on TV

Oh Donald – Oh Donald

Oh Donald – Oh Donald

Did all that he asked me

Thought I was doing so well

But he just said “Your’re fired!”

Know how Ivana felt

Cause we both got the flick

At least she got to keep the jewellery

He gave diddly squat to me

Oh Donald – Oh Donald

Oh Donald – Oh Donald

Thought Donald was trumps when he

Hired me

And I’d the apprentice he’d spare

But now I think Donald’s a chump cause

Fired me

Just cause I laughed at his hair

Now I’ve found a new job

I’m starting today

Might not be on TV

But it’s much, much better pay

Cause I work at MacDonald’s

Now Donald can borrow me hat

Would you like fries with that?

Oh Donald – Oh Donald

Oh Donald – Oh Donald

By JENNY TALIA & KEVIN BLOODY WILSON
BOTH BARRELS MUSIC

I’m sorry my friend I don’t speak fuckwit

All I can hear from here is

“Arrghmotherfuckershit!!”

I think you picked the wrong sheila to fuck with

I’m sorry my friend I don’t speak fuckwit

They’re out there and at least one turns up

At nearly every show

Full of piss and vinegar

Mouthing off and having a go

This one’s cleared all the seats around him

With screaming and flailing about

So I said, “Hey mate – if your arse was as big as your mouth,

Your guts would drop out!”

I’m sorry my friend I don’t speak fuckwit

All I can hear from here is

“Arrghmotherfuckershit!!”

I think you picked the wrong sheila to fuck with

I’m sorry my friend I don’t speak fuckwit

It’s my show, I’ve got the microphone

So I told him to give it a rest

Or I’d get the big black bouncer to rip of his head

Then shit down his neck

But he wouldn’t give up and he wouldn’t shut up

So I tried another line

“Mate, it’s been that long since you had a head job,

You forgot what they tasted like!”

I’m sorry my friend I don’t speak fuckwit

All I can hear from here is

“Arrghmotherfuckershit!!”

I think you picked the wrong sheila to fuck with

I’m sorry my friend I don’t speak fuckwit

But the just kept getting louder

So I called security in

I’ve wasted all me best lines on this prick

I think it’s time to have a look at him

When the lights came on there he was

Sprawled across three seats

I said “Hey mate, where did you come from?”

He said, “The fucking balcony!”

I’m sorry my friend I don’t speak fuck-wit

All I can hear from here is

“Arrghmotherfuckershit!!”

Til the ambulance comes I guess you’re stuck here

I’m sorry my friend thought you were fuckwit

I’m sorry my friend guess I’m the fuckwit

I’m sorry my friend though you were fuckwit

By JENNY TALIA & KEVIN BLOODY WILSON
BOTH BARRELS MUSIC

I was having a good day up until then

Just come from the beauty shop feeling like a 10

Walking to me car passed an old pet store

Saw a rusty old birdcage hanging by the door

Inside that cage a decrepit cockatoo

Barely any feathers all wrinkled and blue

Poor old fella, so I went up to his cage

Scratched the back of his head and said, “G’day mate”

And he said ….

“Hey lady – you fucking ugly!”

I swear that’s what he said, I nearly died

“Hey lady – you fucking ugly!”

I’ve never been so insulted in all me life

So I stormed into the store red with rage

Bang, banged on the counter til the manager came

Told him bout the bird ‘n’ why I was pissed

And said, “Come outside and have a listen to this”

So I dragged him outside in front of that cage

Said, “Is this how a cockatoo’s supposed to behave?’

And as I scratched that cockatoo behind the head again

That cocky sorta smirked and then he said again

“Hey lady – you fucking ugly!”

I swear that’s what he said, I nearly died

“Hey lady – you fucking ugly!”

“See I told you that’s what he said – now he’s said it twice!”

The manager apologized and then he said

“I’m really sorry lady, it won’t happen again”

He took the cocky in his cage to the back of the store

Said “He’s a pretty clever learner, so I’ll teach him some more”

A week or so later went back to that store

And the manager said, “He don’t say that no more

“Just go on over and scratch the cockatoo’s head”

So I did, and you know wheat the cockatoo said?

“Hey lady – YOU KNOW!!!”

Parody of KEV’S COURTIN’ SONG by KEVIN BLOODY WILSON

Parody by JENNY TALIA
BOTH BARRELS MUSIC

I’d just hit me teens

And was still pretty green

‘Bout boys and the ways of the world

Full of questions and doubts

Trying to figure it out

Just what were the rules for a girl?

‘Cause a boy in my class

Got the courage to ask

If I’d go to the school dance with him

I blushed and said yes

Then what I did next

Was call up and asked all my friends

Should we touch on first dates?

And does that mean he likes me?

Should we go to first base?

Whatever that might be

And is it OK

To slip me hand in his pocket?

‘Cause I never felt a willy before

Or will he ask me to stop it? (DUH!)

It didn’t take long

To learn what’s going on

And just what makes a man tick

‘Cause when it comes to girls

They see the world

Through the eye of their dick

So at the end of the night

When it’s time to decide

Will I go home or go home with him

It’s all up to me

So what will it be

Will we both lose or both have a win?

Should I fuck on first dates?

Should I stay ‘til the morning?

Will I remember his name?

Was I just drunk and horny?

Would I see him again?

If he really likes me

But if he only rates less than an eight

Not fucking likely

So when I’m old grey

And I’ve seen better days

And me tits and arse start heading south

And the men in me life

Even worse state than I am

Plagued by the droop and the gout

Well I’d like to think

That some of me bits will

Still work as good as they do now

So when the men come a calling

Or get wheeled to me door

I’ll let ‘em in and the held ‘em out

Should I suck on first dates?

Might not be here tomorrow

So should I spit it out?

Or just gargle and swallow?

If he still gets it up

Then I’ll do the rest

I’ll just dim the lights and take out me teeth

And gum him to death